It is funny how easy it is to get hypnotized: to get lost in the ideas of other people.

Are we lost? Or are we mesmerized? Are we lost or are we interested? There is a fine line. A line that so many walk only to fall into other’s decisions, choices, and influence. We are the product of our own choices. But what happens when our choices are the direct result of somebody else.

What % of your actions are yours to make and yours only?

I fear losing that freedom. Losing the freedom to consciously make choices.

The bigger fear, though, is not the fear of making the wrong decisions. It is not the fear of messing up or failing.

The bigger fear is not knowing when I am headed down the wrong path. The bigger fear is losing the freedom to ask why. To ask if the ship is headed in the right direction.

The subsconscious is what I need hold of. You can have my reality. I care most about the deepest layers. The layers that involve my long term fate.

I know this claim sounds generic, vague, and unremarkable – perhaps because it is. I surely did not come up with it. Nor is it something particularly memorable. And that is the problem.

Most ideas are old ideas. Most ideas have been thought of time and time again. Most ideas are regurgitations and repackagings of previous experiments and trials. Most of which is old is becoming new again.

Does society reward novel and new? Or old. Do the same problems continue to recur because we are not changing and merely convincing ourselves of change…or because they are engrained within us?

These are the demons I battle. Not real ones. Just thoughts. Are we running in a hamster wheel – a maze that never ends – or are we near a finish line.

But why do we care about the finish line? Are we not content with today’s view?

Also published on Medium.