Rarely Really Alone

Growing up, I do not think that I ever realized just how impactful the people you surround yourself with are and can be on your life. The…

Rarely Really AloneGrowing up, I do not think that I ever realized just how impactful the people you surround yourself with are and can be on your life. The…


Growing up, I do not think that I ever realized just how impactful the people you surround yourself with are and can be on your life. The old mantra that you are the sum product of your five closest friends, while I have always thought to be generally true, never really clicked for me.

People have been the biggest accelerants of my life, of my thinking, of my career. And it is all sorts of people — friends, enemies, coaches, mentors, etc. that have influenced me (directly or indirectly).

Each person that I interact with, over time, will impact my life.

In the past year, I started thinking more and more about who I spend my time with.

I find that I school, I spend a good amount of time with friends. I am quite an extrovert, and I enjoy being around other people.

I also spend a significant amount of time alone. Depending on the day, I will be sitting on my computer alone for between 3–10 hours. EACH DAY!

But then I realized…that when I go on the computer, I am not really alone. In fact, I am with more friends. I am talking about problems/ideas, working on projects, getting feedback, and just chatting with dozens of people that I have met on the internet.

Rarely, then, am I just to myself. I am always in the midst of a conversation or about to start a new one.

That leaves little time for what I call “deep work” — work that must be done alone. It is during those time segments — where I am not engaging with anyone but rather completely focused on what I am doing — that I am most productive.

I probably only spend 2–3 hours a day in those “flow” states where I am completely absorbed in what I am doing.

I would like to be better at that and completely immerse myself in what I am doing more often.


Originally published at gonen.blog.

By jordangonen on October 27, 2017.

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Exported from Medium on February 17, 2018.