Not afraid

I am not afraid to die. I am afraid to die tomorrow.

I am not afraid of no more. I am afraid of no more so soon. I think there is a time and place for the end, it is just I do not think that time and place should come in the beginning.

Urgency comes from wanting more things to come sooner.

Patience comes from knowing that more things will come, just not sooner.

Both are guided by this fear of the end. The end of life. The end of school. The end of friendships. The end of love.

Until finally…

The end of the ends. How can we be patient if the end is near? But we never know when the end is? It comes when it wants to. We leave when it wants us to.

A false sense of control and identity are what we hold onto in escape of inevitable. Hoping for more. Yet living for less.