A few close friends

A few close friends

We are nearing the end of winter break. Just last night, I said a temporary goodbye to many of my closest friends. It never gets easier, as once again I am reminded of the everlasting impact that people can have on your life.

I am also reminded, however, of the rigidity to which life works. I grew up with these people. My close group of 9 or so friends has known each other for over 15 years. We’ve learned together. We’ve played sports together. We’ve traveled the world together.

Friendship is a funny thing. There are no written rules to it. It just sorts of happens. I’d like to say that I have a lot of friends. I know a lot of people.

But I’d also say that having a few “deep” relationships is far more impactful, in my eyes, than having a thin network of loosely developed friendships.

What is the difference between a deep connection and a loose friendship?

I do not define my relationships by time. Though, many of us do. I roughly define a “deep connection,” by the quality of experience. Not just the quality, but rather the uniqueness of the experience. The “irreplaceable” impact that people have had in my life has greatly shaped the way I live and see the world. And I attribute that to our desire to experience and adventure. My friends from home and I have experienced sooo much together.

I do not live life with many regrets. I am really happy with where I am at. But the one thing I wish someone had told me sooner was just how precious time is. Perhaps it is a concept that you cannot just explain to someone else. No one can really teach you just how important time is. You have to feel it. You have to crave to make the most out of each and every day.

Memories, both the good and bad ones, are empowering. They inspire me to keep pushing forward. Why? Because I know that there is sooo much more out there. There is so much to do. And so many more memories to make.

Recollecting to my childhood, I am especially grateful for all of the experiences I had. Particularly, I am inspired by the experiences and relationships I formed with such incredible people early on in my life. If by chance, those people, to this day, are still some of my best friends.

And it is those memories that I know I will be looking at 50 years from now.

The blunt reality is that I will not remember that one random friend I had in elementary school that colored with me. I will not remember the kid who sat next to me on the school bus. I will not remember the person who sat next to me for my Calculus Exams.

Those trivial aspects of life tend to get caught up in a blur. We often forget the mundane. The boring. As cliché as it is, rarely are we reminded by the importance of stepping out of our comfort zone. Society makes it possible for us to coast by. The sad aspect of that is we often get caught in that blur. Years go by in a blink of a second. And, while we may form many thin relationships, we lose out on the deep experiences.

So what do we remember?

A better question: what do we want to remember?

It is that question that we should ask ourselves each and every morning. Are we content with the legacy we are leaving behind? If not, we should do something about it. While we have the time, we can make the impact we want to see in our memories. I want to remember not only the good but also the bad.

So…what is it that you want to remember? What do you want people to remember about you?

Originally published at Jordan Gonen.

By jordangonen on January 10, 2017.

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Exported from Medium on February 17, 2018.