A note to myself. Mirror who you want to be.
Dress like them. Talk like them. Look like them. Find role models and be them. That is how you gain respect from the people around you. You gain respect by being the people they already look up to. It is not rocket science. It is already proven by the fact that they look up to certain people for certain reasons.
At the same time, be yourself. Do not be people for the sake of being people. Be people because you align with their point of views, their choices, etc.
I recognize this is conflicting advice. “Be yourself vs. be someone else.” The tension is that often you sacrifice your own qualities – the things that make you you – to be like someone else in hopes of something more.
Is that bad? Is losing a piece of yourself bad?
I think no. I think no when you are shaving a part of yourself to become a better person.
You stop biting your nails. You dress better. You eat better. You go to the gym.
Sure you are mirroring others habits and tendencies – but you are doing so to better yourself. You are thereby morphing into a better person. This is a constant cycle, do the things the best people do and shave the things the not as successful people do.
This is universal – across companies, social circles, etc.
Not rocket science.
Also published on Medium.